First draft for 'Telephone Box';
 |
| PAGE ONE |
 |
| PAGE TWO |
 |
| PAGE THREE |
 |
| PAGE FOUR |
 |
| PAGE FIVE |
Feedback
After having my script read by my classmates and Becky Knapp i got many comments and feedback about my script. This was a great chance to see where i had gone wrong but also made the right decision.
One of the main problems people picked out was the format of my script. The layout was not correct for instance the description of the shot was not in the correct position and the font was incorrect. The font used was Times New Roman which should have been Courier, I took this advice on board and changed this for the second draft i made. Another problem picked up was my punctuation. On many parts i did not add in full stops, especially in the speech of the characters.
One point brought up by Becky was what made her change. This was something which was obviously not made clear and in the second draft i made sure the it was clear to the reader the graveyard scene was which helped Jenifer change her view on life. She also commented on a lot of my dialogue. She mentioned about the mothers comments. Becky said they were a bit unsympathetic which I looked to change when coming to the second draft.Other comments that were made about my script was - confusing, and why do we care.
After taking the advice on board I went on to draft a second script. I looked at the feedback and thought about how i could improve my script.
Second Draft;
 |
| PAGE ONE |
 |
| PAGE TWO |
 |
| PAGE THREE |
 |
| PAGE FOUR |
 |
| PAGE FIVE |
 |
| PAGE SIX |
After reading throughout our scripts our class teacher and Becky Knapp chose three scripts from the class to use for the A2 short films. Unfortunately mine was not chosen, however i was put into a group of 4 including me. Our group was built around one of the scripts which was chosen. I was placed in a group with the script 'Karma' written by Emily Downer. My other two group members are Carolyn Thornton and Sohail Sadiq, all of us will go onto be assigned with job responsibilities and mush successfully work together to create a A2 short film.
No comments:
Post a Comment